FINALLY! its going to be friday tmr. im sooo looking forward to it.. i felt that this week is way too long.. too many activities going on tht i thought orientation ended a few wks ago..oh, and im SICK. cos i was too homesick for krss. haha (how crappy =.=) so, tdy had lessons in millenia once again. ): im very sad every morning. got to wake up early and take horrible transports.. how i hate that sch..but at least tdy is a little better.. had GP as my first lesson tdy. our class went to the wrong classroom and we ended up late for lecture! =.= GP lecture was held in lecture room one.. and it was a combination of a few classes. and on the way, i saw fann! she looked sad lah;like me.. maybe shes lonely too bahs.. btw, shes in the same class as my partner lahs! =.='' so back to the point, after GP was accounts.. and it was by my home tutor. i was yawning a dozen times in the lecture room lah. cos the things tht we're gonna learn for poa this yr was all taught in sec three and four.. i was pratically dying of boredness and coldness. in GP, the room was frigging stuffy. and in accounts, the room was frigging cold. my, cant any of the temperature be just nice?! arghs.. after accounts was break and the queues were way too long.. so didnt really have a decent meal.. i just settled for pink dolphin and famous amos..(: and after break was econs. i was really good lah. paid attention to all the teachers even though im damn tired and feel like sleeping.. see? im guai after all.. (: anyways after econs was mob- my fav! (: the teacher was damn funny lahs. i paid most attention in his lesson. although what he said were all (sorry to say) craps.. yeah. haha, so he was telling us about his life story and stuffs and making us laugh lah.. got this person said she didnt like to take photo.. and the teacher wanted a photo of us so tht he can memorise our faces and our names. so he replied "close yr eyes and take lah". haha. was really crappy and lame lah. and kay hian look alike asked me not to anyhow "diao" pple. LOL lor. my face really tht dao meh..? i didnt know lor. maybe i look mean when i dont smile.. but i just aint in the mood to joke around and smile lah.. ): i have nothing to say nowadays.. i prefer to keep silent.. i want my OLD self back.. tht ger who shout and talk and laugh loudly like nobody's business and would go crazy anytime.. now, all i see is a lonely and quiet shadow of myself.. i feel tht ive ruined my entire life.. im living a fucked up life..~~
here are some things tht mob tcher said tht made me reflect on myself.
"what did i do during my sec four days?" : i slept through lessons, i day dreamed, i studied for the sake of studying, i didnt pay attention in class, i didnt revise my work until one wk before my Os...
-so if i had not done all those tht ive done in my sec four days, i would probably end up in st andrew jc right now instead of this school and make myself look like a loser..
and mob tcher asked all of us our ambitions..and i said "accountant." being an accountant is just one of the options of my many choices.. i wanna be a "teacher, accountant, senior manager of a bank, blabla"
"so what really is my ambition?" : i seriously dont know what i wanna do with my future. everybody got theirs planned out already.. when will i know what do i want for myself?
"why am i regretting being in millenia since i put it as my first choice?" : i dont know why but i am regretting. i shldnt have listen to ms yeo.. ): i hate being coped up at home because i need to study...
-and i rmbered what mob tcher said.. "a dream only becomes reality if you do SOMETHING.."
so do SOMETHING? but... the only thing i wanna do about my life right now..., is to end it.. i hate my life..~ im having fucking headaches all day long......
`#save me from all these loneliness.. #i need you..

♥ 7:00 PM